Thursday, March 26, 2015

Armchair Pussygobbler

So perfect for prolonged worship at the altar of Venus. Me kneeling and gazing upward in awe and reverence at your succulent ripe peach. You comfortably reclining on your throne with your luscious thighs spread lewdly over the arms. Hot eye contact. Me watching you watching every move of my lips and tongue -- licking slurping and sucking your big meaty lips and aching swollen clit. Maybe a butt plug in your tight little asshole to increase the intensity of your orgasm. Two fingers massaging your g-spot until you gush into my hungry mouth and I gratefully swallow every drop of your tasty joy juice.

Thursday, March 05, 2015

Ask Uncle Artie

Dear Uncle Artie;

I'm a longtime member of Cuntoholics Unanimous and hopelessly and happily addicted to slurping pussy. I just saw that trashy movie Fifty Shades of Pink and now I'm hungrier than ever, but just can't find any hot juicy pussy to sink my tongue into. I'd really love to go downtown for lunch every day and dine at the Y, and maybe gobble some peach pie for dessert. But it seems as thought there are way too many lickers chasing far too few lickees. My nose is failing me lately Uncle Artie -- any ideas where I can sniff out some choice pussy to munch on ?

Yours sincerely,

Peter B. Peachslurper

Fifteen Stages of Licking Pink


You drape your soft silky thighs over the arms of the chair, and proudly offer up your luscious pouting pussy, like juicy peach halves on a plate. Your face serene with a gentle hint of naughty smirk, your eyes utter the magic words -- ' eat me ! '


I drop instantly and instinctively to my knees as if struck by a bolt of lightning directly from Her above, paralyzed and powerless to resist the holy grail of your womanhood.

Awe and Reverence

I am humbled to kneel in this grand cathedral of lust and gaze upon your exquisitely sculpted masterpiece of erotic beauty, with my heart pounding in my throat.


Pussy perfume, deeply inhaled, the intoxicating musky aroma of your hot sweaty cunt, the fragrance of paradise to a hopelessly and happily addicted tongue slave.


I hover like a hummingbird and breathe hot and heavy and humid, all over the gentle cuntours of your sacred mound of Venus. Moans and murmurs of pleasure greet my ears.


Lips on lips, pink on pink, a slow feathery kiss of worship, everywhere -- a kiss is not just a kiss.


Mmmmm, the exquisite moment of truth -- my slippery wet tongue slides between your dewy velvety petals and I bask in your urgent gasps of delight.


Your goddess nectar, sweeter than honey, oozes onto my hungry tongue, savoured like a rare magic potion.


Eternal slow dance of lips and clit and tongue, a gentle waltz then a lively tango and finally a frenzied lip hop.


I feast ravenously like a wild beast, gorging and grunting, slurping and swallowing, like a pig at the trough.


My strong hungry lips capture your electric pearl of pleasure and mercilessly chew ' the dearest morsel of the earth '.


Sliding inside your hot tight slippery conch, curling and stroking the sweet spot that makes you gush.


Convulsing and spasming, squealing and squirting, exquisitely excruciating orgasmic bliss -- I am so blessed and gratified.


Your warm juice, delicious and bittersweet, gushes gently onto my eager outstretched tongue. Holy communion indeed.


Such pure carnal excitement, greedily gulping and swallowing the sweet sacred essence of your femininity.

Lips -- Masters of Delight