Saturday, February 14, 2015

The Feast of Saint Valentine

The Feast of Saint Valentine, patron saint of lovers, is celebrated annually on February 14 and traditionally features a bacchalanian orgy of joyous cunnilingus. Not to be confused with the Feast of Saint Lickalot, patron saint of cunt lappers and clit lickers, which features a continuous orgasmathon of pussy slurping, sucking, gobbling and gorging and is celebrated every day -- morning, afternoon, evening or night. Then there's Saint Lancelot, patron saint of fucking, but that's another story.

It's yummy yum yum time and I wanna eat you out, go downtown for lunch, dine at the Y, munch your pie, slurp your peach, chow down on your fur burger, or go diving for pearls etc. etc. Preferably in a comfortable armchair with your luscious thighs draped lewdly over the arms and your humble hungry tongue slave kneeling in the classic worship position -- however you like it, for as long as you want. No obligatory cards and chocolates, no wine and roses, no fancy dinners and boring movies -- just a dozen exquisitely excruciating squealing squirting orgasms. I'll revel in your taste, rejoice in your pleasure, and swallow your sweet juice !

Friday, February 13, 2015

Filthy Shades Exclusive Offer

Are you a woman who insists on seeing this poorly reviewed, boring, insulting, disappointing flick which is little more than domestic abuse pathetically dressed up as Valentine’s fun ? We’ll sit in a corner, spread our winter coats strategically, and I’ll go down on you from the raising of the curtain until the final credits roll. We will then both be guaranteed to leave the theatre smirking like the proverbial Chesire cat, unlike the rest of the audience.

However, since I cannot justify contributing any more than necessary to the success of this dumb flick, you are obliged to buy your own ticket and popcorn.

Fifty Shades of Abuse

If I had a theme song it would titled Always On My Knees, and while I don’t consider myself a true or total sub, I instinctively treat a lover as the subject of my infinite desire to adore, worship and please her. I haven’t read the book and won’t see the film, but in my humble opinion they represent the disgusting polar opposite — domestic abuse and violence. And I gotta wonder how many men will see this film and think this is what women want.

Sunday, February 08, 2015

This Clit Was Made For Suckin'

this clit was made for suckin' 
that’s where my lips are gonna be
then one of these days this clit
is gonna cum all over me