Thursday, December 24, 2015

The Night Before Clitmas

'Twas the night before Clitmas and we were alone
not a creature was stirring, not even my bone
her panties were hung by the chimney with care
in hopes that Saint Lickalot soon would be there

she in her nightie and I in the nude
fondling and fingering, my intentions were lewd
when out on the lawn there arose such a cry
my dick went all limp, and she went all dry

so up to the window I sprang like an elf
and opened the blind while she diddled herself
the moon shone bright on the snowgirl we built
a broom up her ass, right up to the hilt

and what to my wondering eyes did appear
but a fur-lined sleigh with eight frisky reindeer
and a mischievous driver so spry and so quick
I knew in a moment it must be St. Lick

now sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite
he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right
' whoa Stupid, whoa Bumface, whoa Dickhead, whoa Klutz
slow down this rig, or I'll cut off your nuts ! '

then down the chimney he crashed like a lout
eyes bulged with lust and cock hanging out
she smiled and sighed and giggled with glee
his dingus you see hung down to his knee

his clothes reeked of perfume and pussy galore
he look liked a bum and smelled like a whore
' That was some cathouse ! ' he said with a grin
and cackled and snorted and wiped off his chin

so he bustled and opened his big bag of toys
clit vibes for girls, used panties for boys
and a dildo so long it lay rolled in a coil
nipple clamps, butt plugs and all kinds of oil

he licked and slurped her quivering wet cunt
and gorged like a tiger at the end of the hunt
he humped and pumped like a mad rutting steed
leaving her coochie overflowing with seed

so filthy and nasty was this raunchy old soul
he reached for the lube and greased her bumhole
then he spread her cheeks with a wink and a lick
and right up her ass slid his massive stiff prick

then sniffing his finger beneath his red nose
he hooted and cackled before he arose
I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight
' Thanks to you all for a fucking good night ! '

Sunday, December 13, 2015

The Twelve Days of Clitmas

On the twelfth day of Clitmas, my true love gave to me;

twelve diddlers diddling

eleven lads-a-licking

ten toys-a-pulsing

nine ladies squirting

eight maids-a-sucking

seven winking assholes

six clits-a-spasming


four rubber dildos

three French cunts

two perky nipples

and an orgasm in a peach tree.

Monday, November 23, 2015

Ultimate Feasting

Now for the final secret ingredient -- just diddle yourself until you cum, squirt your warm yummy joy juice into the bowl, and top up the ultimate orgasmic treat to eat. Voila !

Bon appetit !

Sunday, September 27, 2015

I'm Your Licker

Thanks to participants in my informal poll about the most desired and required qualities in a pussy licker. You said the most popular tongue slave is one who is submissive, gentle, sensual, adoring, worshipful and eager to please. Someone who has a tireless insatiable tongue, revels in your orgasms, begs for more, worships your asshole, and needs nothing in return.

And the most desired quality of all ? Someone who loves to be fed and swallows every precious drop of your sacred juice. Someone who groans with sublime gratitude as your warm sweet nectar gushes down his hungry throat.

Mmmmm, sounds just like me -- your devoted humble tongue slave, at your service 24/7.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Ode to My Dream Queen

An open invitation to my Dream Queen, who remains to be discovered:

Feast of Dreams

You're the girl my hungry eyes have seen
the pillow princess who became a Queen
with womanly curves and full round hips
and sensuous mouth with luscious lips
with ample bosom and big hard nips
to dance beneath my fingertips
a girl who loves to laugh like I
whose pussy tastes like sweet peach pie
flesh so soft and warm and sweet
please feed me your delicious treat
a girl who craves hot oral fun
and loves my eager hungry tongue
with luscious cunt like a ripened plum
and slippery juice oozing down your bum
surrender shyly your warm wet mango
and dance with me the hot tongue tango
yeah ride my tongue and grind my face
and give me honey to slurp and taste
you play with girls as well as boys
and diddle yourself with naughty toys
so take my finger in your lovely ass
and squeeze it tight like a virgin lass
yes mew and moan as I tongue your treasure
and squeal and squirt in exquisite pleasure
and upon your pearl a long french kiss
to bring you to orgasmic bliss.

Should you decide to take a lover, I respectfully offer prolonged adoration and worship in the cathedral between your thighs. I'm available to audition 24/7.

yours humble servant,

Peter B. Peachslurper

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Meet Greet Eat !

I want you naked, slow dancing and squeezing your bulging tits. I want you to be my slutty Princess, and I your starving slave -- trapped and trembling together in frantic pawing lust. I want your panties, wet and humid in my nostrils and all over my face, the magical musky aroma of your cunt irresistible and gripping me like leather and chains. I wanna nuzzle deep into your warm fragrant embrace, and feverishly grope your smooth silky flesh like a fiendish randy schoolboy. I wanna squeeze your soft breasts together and suckle both succulent nipples at once. I wanna squeeze your awesome bum, vigorously and viciously, until juice runs down your thighs. I wanna breathe in, deep and long, the rich ripe aroma of your hot sweaty cunt, until I'm intoxicated and uncontrollable. I wanna see you face down and ass up, your luscious cheeks spread wide apart, your stunning puckered starfish riveting and inviting. I wanna hear you mew like a kitten and push back on my hungry tongue as I voraciously slurp your glorious asshole. I want your legs spread wide, your secret silky treasure vulnerable, glistening like peach halves on a plate. I wanna gaze up into your eyes and revel in the pleasure in your face. I want your hand on my head, the other squeezing a hard pointed nipple. I wanna slow dance, hot and close -- your aching pussy and my ravenous mouth. I wanna taste your slick oozing nectar, sweet like pure syrup-lite, precious like the fountain of youth. I wanna shiver with delight as your sacred essence slides down my throat and my heart misses a beat. I wanna gobble your full ripe peach and gorge it all into my greedy mouth, and suck and chew your entire cunt with manic driven lips. I want your clit, aching and swollen, and pulsing and begging to be licked gently and sucked mercilessly. I wanna worship your sacred girl pearl, stiff and swollen, pulsing and charged with electricity, two fingers churning your hot mushy cunt, triggers on your g-spot. But most of all, I want your blessing -- when you squirm and squeal in excruciating agony, and cum all over my face. I wanna struggle to swallow as gentle streams of your warm tangy juice fill my hungry grateful mouth. I wanna give thanks to Her above. And I want you quivering and whimpering, and begging for more.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Monday, July 13, 2015

Scenes From The Pussy Ass Games

now the weather's hot and sticky
and she wants some kitty licky
she spreads her thighs 
and shuts her eyes
and gives my tongue
lotsa exercise 

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Pussy Ass Games Begin

The Pussy Ass Games have opened here in Orgasm City with a flourish and a splash. Horny cuntestants are now competing in dirty dildo dancing, cunnilingus marathon, bitch volleyball, muff diving, sprint rimming, Sybian riding, horsecock jumping, knob gobbling, tongue dancing, dildo cycling, clit sucking, cumshot put, pole vault, long fuck, paddling, hammer toss, trampoline fucking, sword swallowing, nude gymnastics, semen shooting, diddling, synchronized squirting, table cunnilingus, softballs, Tryasslon, ass squash, stroking, roller fucking, water polka poking, Titkwando, naked wrestling, sperm swallowing, bum fucking...

Wanna play, or watch ?



Thursday, July 09, 2015

Let The Pussy Ass Games Begin Already

clit sucking, in which cuntestants are judged on technique by an international female panel

Tuesday, July 07, 2015

Let The Pussy Ass Games Begin

First up is the famous cunnilingus endurance marathon in which cuntestants submit to the world's top pussy lickers and suckers. Whomever cums last, wins.

Tuesday, June 09, 2015