Sunday, May 18, 2014

The Ribald Bard

As a student I found Shakespeare tedious, and was otherwise obsessed with pussy -- I should have realized the connection. Nowadays I delight in these lewd and lascivious gems which were usually glossed over by my teachers of English Literature ;

' with my tongue in your tail ? '
-- The Taming of the Shrew

Gorged with the dearest morsel of the earth, '
-- Romeo and Juliet

' That man that hath a tongue, I say is no man,
If with his tongue he cannot win a woman. '
-- The Two Gentlemen of Verona

Pistol's cock is up
And flashing fire will follow. '
-- Henry V

' I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be
buried in thine eyes. '
-- Much Ado About Nothing
(To die is to orgasm and 'nothing' is an Elizabethan euphemism for lady parts)

' Lady, shall I lie in your lap ?
No, my lord.
I mean, my head upon your lap.
Ay, my lord.
Do you think I meant country matters ?
I think nothing, my lord.
That's a fair thought to lie between maids' legs.
What is, my lord ?
Nothing. '
-- Hamlet

' Be my life, this is my lady's hand, these be her
very C's, her U's, 'n her T's and thus she makes her
great P's. '
--Twelfth Night

' O Romeo, that she were! Oh, that she were
An open arse, and thou a popperin pear. '
-- Romeo and Juliet

' Fondling', she saith 'since I have hemmed thee here
Within the circuit of this ivory pale,
I'll be a park and thou shalt be my deer;
Feed where thou wilt, on mountain or in dale;
Graze on my lips, and if those hills be dry
Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie. '
-- Venus and Adonis

' Tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished. '
-- Hamlet

' Aye, there's the rub, '
-- Hamlet

' Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting.'

-- Henry V

1 comment:

IQandBoobsToo said...

“Like a bee that settles on the fragrant pistils of a flower, and sips in the nectar for honey, so should you sip in the nectar from between the lips of your love.”
Hugh Morris